When I tell people I really hate competition, that's an understatement ...
I am so burnt out over the last 5 weeks, I literally haven't picked up a barbell since finishing 15.5.
I've taken this week off to rest nagging injuries, but more than anything, because I need it mentally. My whole life has become CrossFit. All of my friends are CrossFitters. My business associates are CrossFitters. My boyfriend is a CrossFitter. In my free-time, I'm doing CrossFit, or studying avenues to become a better CrossFit coach and CrossFit affiliate owner.
There is no "off" switch. I think about my business, coaching, or training literally all day long. And then I get home and want to go to bed, and I'm dreaming about the business, coaching, or training, all night long.
I'm not complaining. I love what I do and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just have to find other hobbies and a better work/life balance. Why don't they teach that in college? It doesn't help that my boyfriend lives 4 states away, so I really don't have anything to help me take my mind off of work, or busy up my evenings and weekends. Instead, I just see free time as an opportunity to do something for the gym: cleaning, advertising, blogging, updating the website, planning, programming ...
And now we are moving!
So not only do we have the day to day operations to handle, which is really my responsibility, we now have a new space to create.
It's amazing. And exciting. To be a part of this. To be a part-owner of a small business.
When I was 16, I had to write a paper on two dream jobs.
1. to become President of the United States.
2. to open my own small business. At the time, I was very much into writing and design, I wanted o be a graphic designer.
As I have grown and my hobbies have altered and shifted, I could never have dreamed of being in the position I am now, Head Coach and owner of a CrossFit affiliate at the ripe age of 27.
I take my dreams, and the people I work with, very seriously.
Which is probably why I don't have a life anymore outside of my work.
Which is probably why, after the Open was over, I just literally hit a wall and shut down. I'm still coaching and running the business side of the things, but no training for me. No putting on my lifters. No taping up. No looking up percentages. Or turning on the clock. Or trying to hit a new PR. Or fight through a tough set. No. Just no.
I didn't do too bad in the Open. I had a lot of haters who didn't think I would do well, after competing last year in Asia and making it to Regionals. The Northeast is a huge region with a lot of strong girls.
I know I want to get back under a barbell soon. I am just not pushing it. I am trying to listen to my heart and what it wants.
I remember how exciting CrossFit was, back when I first started it. I had a solid group of girls that I'd always WOD with. We were best friends and had each others backs. I know that I keep CrossFitting in the hopes that one day I will find that again. I'm not giving up yet.