Tuesday, June 17, 2014

More Booty. More Biceps.

I love, love, love my body.

It is a direct representation of all of the hard work I have put in the last few years chasing performance, not physique. 


You won't see any women with my shape in a Cosmo magazine or a CoverGirl make up ad. You won't see girls with my kind of body in any television shows or cast as the "sexy female" role in any main stream movies. 


My body is not societies idea of beautiful. 

It's a good thing I give 2 fcks about society then, eh?

As much as I love my body, we experience highs and lows, just like any relationship. 

The highs are the comments I get on how strong I'm getting. The lows are the internet trolls telling me I take steroids and the comments from women, "I just want to tone, I don't want to get that big," as they're eyeballing me.


The highs are usually in the gym, when I'm hitting a PR. 

The lows are usually when I'm watching something on TV and I get wrapped up playing the comparison game, "Dang, she is skinny."


But then I remember what I'm packing ... 


The lows happen when I'm in a changing room trying to find a pair of jeans to fit over that derriere. 

The highs happen when I find a great pair of shoes to compliment those chicken legs.


The lows happen when my thighs have become so big, they rub together when I'm walking or running. Any loose fitting short or pant is the bane of my existence.


The highs occur when my midline is looking strong.
The lows happen when I just look like I have a belly when I have a shirt on.


OR WHEN MY WEIGHT BELT NO LONGER FITS ME
(I've actually come to consider that a high though.)


Society tells me for some reason I need to be chasing this constant desire to become "smaller."


And to that I say no. I am an example that you don't have to give two shits about what the scale reads or what size jeans you wear. CrossFit has enabled me to break out of this mold that society tells me I'm supposed to live in. A world of smaller: smaller portions, smaller dress sizes, smaller weights.

"Lose 5 pounds in 5 days!"
"Lose that arm jiggle forever"
"Whittle Away Your Waist with these 9 great moves!"

I'm OVER it.

I am here to tell you that your self worth does NOT come from anyone else's opinion except your own. I am here to say BIGGER is better. More biceps. More booty. More performance. Let it jiggle. Make it rain. The number to care about is the one you're lifting. The PR you're chasing.

If people, your boyfriend, your best friend, can't handle the heat, tell them to get the fck out of the kitchen. 

You can keep your salad fork, society, I'll only be needing the steak knife.



38 comments:

  1. Shamelessly have stalked you for a while. Don't change a bit (not that I think you would). Love your personality. Beautiful girl. I'd love for my two daughters to follow a similar path. Healthy mind and body. Take care. Good effort at Regionals.

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  2. You are the best! I started power lifting a month ago inspired by you, and got my first thrill on the bench with a 37.5kg 3RM. Literally in love with it, and with the olympic lifts. Thanks for everything :)

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  3. Great article! Mind if I borrow that last pair of pictures of you releasing your inner lion for my gym page?

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    1. Of course! Thanks for asking :)

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    2. Fk Yeah. Great article.

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  4. I haven't been to your blog in a little while and first, love the new header. Second, love the blond! And third, you rock.. and more women need to shift their perspective like you do! Keep it up, girl!!

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  5. I am woman hear me ROAR! You go girl!!

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  6. I am woman hear me ROAR! You go girl!

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  7. I have been reading your blog for a while now and I applaud you for this post! You are an awesome example of how a woman can be powerful and awesome!!! Keep it up!!!

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  8. Great post girl! Keep working hard! You look great!

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  9. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post and your new hair:)
    Keep up all that hard work, you look great! I can relate so much with what you are saying. I struggle trying to find a body-type I can relate to, but also love how much faster I have become and how much stronger I feel:)
    Thanks for a great post!

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  10. Thank you. So glad I found your blog.

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  11. love, love this!!! hate finding pants that actually fit though

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  12. Awesome post, thank you!!! I would love to have your body any day of the week!! Thanks for being such an inspiration, for being you :)

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  13. Awesome post, thank you!!! I would love to have a body like yours any day of the week! Thanks for being such an inspiration, for being you :)

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  14. All I can say is THANK YOU so much for writing this post and being the amazing and inspiring woman that you are. You completely verbalized many of the struggles I've been having as well, and it's so comforting to know I'm not alone. Thank you for being the voice for so many of us. Love you and your blog!!!

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  15. Only negatives I saw were all the pics that didn't have you in them. Keep up the hard work. Crossfit girls are the best.

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  16. This right here, grrrrlfriend, is WHY WE LOVE YOU!!!!

    Be strong! Everyone is free to be something different if they want, but we choose **real strength**. Lots of people will pay lip service to "strong women" as long as it's abstract but start with the shame tactics the second a woman dares to have physical strength.

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  17. Great post Courty.
    I can deal with the chicken legs but I am not thrilled with the "chicken arms". Suggestions?

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  18. Love this!! you are awesome, girl.

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  19. I absolutely love this! It is all true!

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  20. DAMN I LOVE THIS!!!!

    love. love. love. love.

    I've hit the same point, and it is fucking fantastic. So proud of you, and furthermore, so proud that there is a strong contingent of sisters saying "F that" to the "rules" that so many mindlessly accept for our bodies. GO COURT! Preach it, girl!

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  21. This is WONDERFUL. Thank you.

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  22. I've been reading your blog for a few years now and had never heard if CrissFit before, the more I read the more interested I became. I started thinking about how I could make it work for me and I just joined last month! The 5am class is where it's at, hate 5am but love CrosssFit. Thanks for introducing me to the sport!

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  23. Are you kidding me ? You look great ! I'm not a fan of too muscular woman (ie Sam Briggs) but you look strong AND sexy. Keep it up !

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  24. Courtney I have followed your blog for a long time now. You are amazing and I find your attitude and body something to inspire for. Real women who live a real life can't look like what society yearns for. But with hard work they can look fit, strong, and healthy. Keep up the good work!

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  25. LOVE this. I seriously was clapping from my couch while reading this, which totally confused my husband and toddler, but whatevs. Keep it up, and please keep spreading this message because women that feel the way we do are far too few in number, and the ones who drink Slim-Fast for breakfast are far too numerous.

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  26. LOVE this. So much. Seriously, I was clapping from my couch while reading this, which confused my husband and toddler, but whatevs. Please keep preaching this, because the women who feel the way WE do (cause I stand with you on this) are far too few...and the women who think Slim Fast is a suitable breakfast are far too numerous.

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  27. Couldnt of said it better myself! Amen sista and for the record you are smoking hot I perfer you over skinny any day. Beast mode beautiful ;-)

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  28. Couldnt of said it better myself! Amen sista and for the record you are smoking hot I perfer you over skinny any day. Beast mode beautiful ;-)

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  29. Awesome post! We need more role models in the public eye like you. I'm hoping with the rise of Crossfit and televising the games, more young girls will have access to images of strong, healthy, beautiful women that own their bodies and are fearless! Keep it up girl!

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  30. I love this post. Well done!

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  31. This post needs to be spread high and wide across the interwebs. You hit it head on! I too am finally coming to realize that it's not the # on the scale, the size of my jeans. The # that matters is the weight I'm throwing on the bar. The non-scale victories I'm chasing down DAILY in the box. And you look amazing, for the record :)

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  32. Way to go Court! Keep killing it. So many women (and girls) need this as their mantra. Confidence comes from within. Love the lion pic. Badass!

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  33. Nice post. Since society is into the superficial, maybe women lifting heavy will be more embraced once they see that it leads to - a better sex life! I date a woman who lifts (who pretty soon will be my fiance). She was always thin and toned but started to lift heavy kettlebells and then generally when she started with a new trainer. Her body, which was very attractive, just got so much...sexier. Her butt looks great, her posture is better and she just looks so confident now, which is hot. On top of that, she definitely just seemed to get, sorry to use the word, hornier. I think the strength just gave her new confidence in bed. And wow is she strong. She can do five pullups now and her legs are literally stronger than mine. I hadn't been lifting for a while (was doing yoga and martial arts instead) and she has these thin legs that got crazy strong. She can leg press over five hundred pounds and when I tried to keep up with her squats and lunges one day, I had to stop and thought I would puke. Again, not to sound trite but in the sack, having a woman who's thighs can squeeze that hard is just way more fun than a pile of bones. I have had the opportunity to date fashion models and that is exactly how they feel.

    I hope I didn't offend anyone.

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  34. I know this is an old thread but I have to agree with the last poster. Per my moniker (and i'm waaay to shy to say that in real life), i've always fancies myself a pretty hot mom. I take care of myself and my marriage has been good. Once I started real strength training though and started to get strong, my husband's desire shot through the roof. He really can't keep his hands off me. I don't know if it is the feeling of being wanted or the endorphins from the workouts but my own sex drive has also increased. Also, really specifically. though my body was always toned, I do have more definition now and again, the hubby LOVES it. I see him checking out my biceps and notice him feeling my legs when we are in bed. He asks me to squeeze him when we are climaxing and gets turned on by how strong I am. So there it is. Yet another reason to lift. :-)

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  35. Yeah, but men still think your shape is hothothot. It's the women who are obsessed with skinny. Any guy who finds this page is looking at your pics and getting you naked in his mind.

    Not me. I'm beyond the 75kb+ weight class, but still killin' it in the gym. The lows? That there are weight classes when you lift heavy, but not when you run or do bodyweight exercises. (Think about that double standard for a while: "You can only lift heavy because you're heavy," but never "You can only run that fast or do that many pull-ups because you're light.") Shopping - ever. Everyone's opinion about my body, and how they just know they know how I got so overweight (they're all wrong). Pull-ups. Absolutely *no one* would see my picture in short shorts & a crop tank top and be in awe. Absolutely no one.

    The highs? My bench press is monstrous because I'm so stubborn I insist on being able to complete Murph even though I weigh 180lb. My shoulder press is gargantuan because I'm a hairs-breadth away from being able to do handstand push-ups at 180lb. The smile I get thinking about any of the other women at the gym doing what I do with a 50, 75, or 90lb sack strapped to their backs & thighs like I have. The joy of knowing I'm healthier than almost all the gymheads I know, all the skinny women I know, and most of the men I know, while being killer strong & fit. Deadlifting & back squatting more than most of the men I know. Oly lifting. Gorgeous shoulder muscles. A 6-pack with 35% bodyfat. Yeah, you heard me right - a 6-pack! My voice instructor in awe of how my abs, hips, chest, & diaphragm power my voice. Being able to move my own furniture. :)

    Yeah, I couldn't care less what they think.

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