I'm sitting here blogging in an avocado face mask.
Hulk Smash, anyone?
I've got to keep this green mess on my face for 60 minutes ....
So pull up a chair, it's about to get real up in here.
Did you know ...
That only one president has ever been divorced - Ronald Reagan.
In New York and Mississippi, a spouse can SUE a third party for being responsible for the failure of the marriage, on the grounds of "alienation of affection."
According to U.S. statistics, if one partner smokes, their marriage is 75% more likely to end in divorce.
The most commonly cited statistic states that one in every four families will face divorce. More than one million people have parents who separate or divorce each year in the US.
The average length of divorce proceedings is 1 year in the United States.
Experts note that if a spouse has gained more than 20% of his or her body weight, divorce is more likely.
In two thirds of all American divorces, it's the woman who files. Additionally, while men are financially better off than women after a divorce, they are more likely to suffer emotionally.
More random facts about the titillating topic of divorce can be found here.
I wake up thinking about my divorce and go to bed thinking about my divorce. In my old school, Catholic family, divorce is not cool. I would have stayed in my marriage forever. I believe that marriage is a river, it has its highs and lows, its growing-apart times and its growing-together times ... As hard as our marriage was, they were also the 3 happiest, though challenging, years of my life.
I'm sad that it's over. As challenging as parts of it were, and as sadly as it ended, I don't regret it for one second.
We're going on almost a month since the "big fallout." I'm happy that he initiated the divorce, (over an email, isn't that classy?), because he truly was unhappy. And being responsible for someone else's happiness is just not fair, it's a losing battle, a passive aggressive, control tactic.
Once I got over the pain of the initial impact and had a chance to catch my breath, all of these other emotions started to pop up. I wondered if maybe I was going crazy. I was happy, sad, mad, frustrated, all at different points in the same day. I could feel that whole spectrum of emotions in the course of an hour!
"Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening."
Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and the breakup or divorce of a love relationship involves multiple losses:
- Loss of companionship and shared experiences (which may or may not have been consistently pleasurable)
- Loss of support, be it financial, intellectual, social, or emotional
- Loss of hopes, plans, and dreams (can be even more painful than practical losses)
This is the point I'm at right now in my grieving process. Dealing with all of this loss. I don't know if my mom's death when I was 10 has made me more resilient - is making this process easier - or if it's making it even more challenging, that, "Why me?" syndrome. First my mom, now my husband.
I'm putting this out there in the blog world, because there may be someone else out there who's going through the same thing I am. Divorce wasn't my plan. Moving back to Texas to finish my degree while my husband finished his Recruiting assignment was the plan.
My world's been turned upside down. My world as I knew it, has been ripped out from under me. Everything has changed. The world is now wide open again, the possibilities are out there ... But for all those people who love to remind me how wonderful being single is, it's hard for me to wrap my mind around it. I was so happy being a part of a team. I loved being a wife and having someone to take care of.
Thank goodness I have Elliott!
I don't know what new direction my life is going to take ...
... I just know I'm taking it one day at a time. And a little chocolate never hurt, either.