Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Keeping Women Down

We've all seen it, and sadly, a lot of us have been on the receiving end of it: hateful comments. If you have a blog, you know what I'm talking about, that colorful comment left from Anonymous. 

Lurkers.
Hiding in the shadows.
Make me sick.

I love my blog! And 90% of the time, I love my readers. But, occasionally there are some hateful mofo's out there. Why they insist on visiting MY corner of the blog world if it pisses them off so much, is beyond me! It's not like I'm spoon feeding them my daily blog posts, hands tied behind their back, forcing their eyelids open.


And they're not just in the blog world, oh no, they're on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, you name it. I see them on blogs I follow, as often as I see them on my blog. I don't take the comments to heart, because I know that behind the hate is someone that's either a) jealous, b) threatened or c) both. 



In this instance, a follower on Instagram happens to be incredibly threatened and jealous of my rippling physique (read: sarcasm). 


But ah, pay back is sweet! 
 
I have some amazing followers on IG who came to the rescue (I didn't notice this comment until five days after he'd left it, whoops.)
 
"Thank you for being a role model, and helping me see that I don't have to be stick-thin to be beautiful. Strong is beautiful, and you are definitely gorgeous."
 
"Wow, what a ass! Keep up your hard work looking great!"

"What a f**king moron!! He must feel intimidated by a strong woman!"
 
"Wow. He is horrible! I admire ur strength and would kill to have your muscles! Keep doing what you're doing girl"

"He probably has girly arms so he's jealous! ;) keep up the good work!"
 
The photo is still up, and his comment is still there. No, I didn't block him either. I find that the best payback is allowing him to see that his comment did nothing, except make me want to lift more weight and run even faster, and that he is alone in his arena, while I have a ton of support in mine.
 
In my arena is Brandon, the author of Lift Big Eat Big. 

After seeing the comment, he messaged me and asked if he could use it in an article he's writing. Of course I said yes, and you can read the article here, "Keeping Women Down."
"Without sounding too much like a Pinterest motivational poster, weak men absolutely demand that a woman stays weak as well. Demanding that a woman not have muscle or get strong is implying that you as a man need to exert dominance over the women in question and if you cannot exert that dominance, then she is unattractive to you. Does this sound like a strong man to you?

These are the kinds of things that drive women to count calories, slave away on treadmills, and skip healthy foods for highly processed, fat-free foods. We will never advance as a society as long as we view women as a sub-species that is not allowed to pursue their own goals in strength, competition, and healthy living. If you simply cannot accept the fact that strong women are amazing, then it's time for you to crawl back under the rock from whence you came."

Men: You don't have to like women with muscles. But, that definitely does not give you the RIGHT to bash women who work hard in the gym to get stronger. Believe it or not, there is more to working out than aesthetics, waist size and a number on a scale. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the only number I care about is how much I'm going to squat.
 
I hope you read the article. Even more interesting, are the anonymous comments even HE received. Like I said, they're errywhere.

And the for manliest photo ever:


Yours truly, out to dinner with my girls my last night in Texas.


So manly we rock mustaches.
 
1. Have you ever been the victim of hateful comments?
 
2. Have you ever had to defend yourself when you tell people you lift weights or do CrossFit?
 
3. Are you afraid to "get bulky" ??

83 comments:

  1. You're AMAZING....and inspiring!!! Sometimes I get bogged down by the media, society, etc. and get upset that I am not a size 0, don't have stick thin legs, or the most fashionable clothes, however, when I lift heavy all those silly thoughts leave my head and I feel strong, beautiful, confident, and love myself and yearn to get stronger and feel great both inside and out.

    Have a wonderful last night in Texas! Seriously, this post was touching! Oh and I can't wait to see that final article "Keeping Women Down." It sounds awesome!

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  2. I do not blog, but I see the rude and hateful comments on blogs I read. I commend you for keepin' on, keepin' on!

    YES!-I do have to defend myself when I spend an hour in the weight room a day, a 1/2 hour to hour of running, 5x a week with the boys and not on the elliptical with the girls. There are some that feel like the weight room has no place for me and the women think that I'm going to look like a female bodybuilder. Though, through it all, most of the males do respect me because I am one of the few females who lift and actually know what they're doing.

    My girl friends at the gym have struggled with losing weight over the last few years, but I have surpassed them even while I started out weighing more than them. The elliptical by itself will not make you look like the women on your Pinterest motivational board! Just as lifting weights alone won't make you fit. You need cardio as much as you need strength training.

    So, to answer your 3rd question, no, I'm not afraid to gain muscle weight. In fact, I'm looking forward to it!

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  3. Wow, what a rude comment! I find this blog consistantly inspiring and your body is something to aspire to...not manly!
    I do have to defend lifting heavy weights to some of my family and friends, only because they are worried I'm going to injure myself. I tell them I have never been happier with my body since I have started playing with barbells and doing pullups!

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  4. I find your blog to be inspirational and something I strive towards. Haters gonna hate. I agree with you completely, the folks who leave hateful comments are insecure, jealous, or a combo of both. You keep doing what you're doing and inspiring the rest of us! We've got your back!
    I've had to defend my running at times-especially when I was training for my marathon. I had to build up mileage, but the thing is I like to run. To me it's therapeutic, it's my escape.
    And I do look forward to building muscle, means less jiggle on my body!

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  5. Girl, you are an inspiration to SO many out there. Whenever I need a little extra motivation I know I can come here and instantly get it!

    Sadly, women all over the place are subjected to these hurtful comments. And like Maggie above said about defending herself to family and friends, I, too, must defend myself constantly to those I work with about crossfit and eating paleo (not even perfect paleo, either!). The things my COLLEAGUES say, joking or not, are what is wrong with society today. It's unfortunate, but it only makes me work that much harder.

    I am not afraid of getting bulky.. I just want to get stronger. First step, adding Wendler's into my programming next week :)

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  6. You are a sexy beast! I look forward to reading your blog everyday. And you motivate me to keep it up in the gym and on the road. Thanks girl!

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  7. dont let anyone outside hurt you. it is a little hypocritical of me because i always let other people affect my view of myself. keep up the handwork you are an inspiration. how do i follow you on instagram?

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  8. You will never know how much of an inspiration you are to me, let alone a countless number of other women. I look forward to reading your blog everyday, and always feel empowered and ready to set new PRs when you talk about your workouts. You are the perfect example of a healthy and balanced and STRONG individual. Anyone who would say otherwise is the complete opposite of those things.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, thank you :) Your words mean a lot to me!

      Delete
  9. That guy is a douche....probably just jealous at how much stronger you are than he is. That article about keeping women down is awesome. I feel bad ass being in the 'mens' part of the gym, and not being phased by being one of the few females in that section.... "Uh yes I'm using those weights, dude...." Even at the gym, you can find those meatheads who think they own the weights section of the gym and it's nice hogging the bench once in a while ;) .I find you inspiring and would like to get some leg muscles like you!! I gave up the Zumba and whatnot to start lifting and would like to try Crossfit. Hell...my husband encourages me to lift weights and gain muscle. I love reading your blog b/c I am so motivated by your posts. Keep up the awesome work....HATERS ARE MOTIVATORS!!!!

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    1. Amen! I think I saw that on a shirt. If it's not on a shirt, it needs to be! And good for your husband, we need WAY more men like him in the world, REAL men!

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  10. Wow. Some people on this planet really don't have a clue. Then, to cover up their ignorance, they hide behind the label "anonymous". I'm sure it's their version of "pointing and giggling" like kids on a playground.

    I don't blog, or facebook, or twitter, etc. While I choose GREAT blogs like this to follow, I've always followed the path of, "if I don't like what you say, ignore it. If I do, let you know it..." More people should follow this philosophy.
    I do have to explain myself at times when I'm lifting. A lot of people assume that I'm "prepping" for something when I lift heavy. The only thing I'm prepping for is a strong body when I turn 80. Like you, the only numbers I tell people these days are my squat, deadlift, push press, and chin up count. At 47, there aren't a lot of women friends of mine who count these numbers as importantly as I do. They look more at weight on the scale and miles on the treadmill.
    As for "bulking", I - like you - have always had "quadzillas". Skinny jeans laugh at me when I walk by...but they are genetics to start with and hard earned to boost their size. Since I'm only 5'4", they make up a lot of my body composition, so I have to work harder on upper body (especially lats) to balance them out. But, I would NEVER call myself bulky.

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  11. I think you're awesome. Dont listen to that tiny, little man! He must be lacking in other areas other than his intelligence (if you know what I mean) LOL

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  12. How crazy!! you look great, girl! :) And an inspiration to us skinnier women who are TRYING to put on some muscle!!

    I guess I've been fortunate to not have any haters yet, so I must not be bulky enough ;) I think you look amazing; and you're super inspiring, so eff them all and keep up the awesome work!!

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  13. I lift heavy so I can look like you, you look great! Lean, strong and cut...that's the look I want. I have a ways to go before I get there. I Don't think you look bulky at all you look awesome!

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    1. I don't know what you're talking about, you look great to me! ;)

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  14. Courtney I'd kill to have your body! Don't worry there are plenty of guys out there who are attracted to strong women. In fact I've found that most guys are actually really impressed when you tell them you do weights. It can be a great way to start a conversation.

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  15. I saw this on your Instagram and replied... he's dumb and needs to get a life. I'm no where near as strong as you, but I've had to defend CrossFit several times since I started. Just because I lift weights that aren't pink doesn't mean I'm going to get big and bulky. I've also had to defend the "that's all we ever talk about" comment... WTF you're the one asking how I got my legs and arms... it gets me so frustrated! haha!

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    1. Thank you Maxine for coming to my rescue. I uploaded the photo and didn't check the comments on it for days ... It was painful seeing his comment, but so awesome seeing everyone coming to my rescue. Thank you!

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  16. I don't blog, but have seen rude comments left. I googled a blog I couldn't remember the name of and was disappointed to see an entire blog that is dedicated to bashing the authors of other blogs. It is so sad that people feel like they need to do this.

    I love your blog and you are totally my new girl crush. I just started strength training a couple months ago and can't wait until I get some guns!

    Thanks for being a badass!
    AmyD

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    1. I think I have come across this blog of blog bashing. What a shame ...

      Thanks for the uplifting comments! You keep being a badass yourself!

      Delete
  17. Wow, can't believe the nerve of that guy. Good for you that you're able to brush it off, which you should because people who spread poison like that are just unhappy with themselves so they try to make others feel bad too. I agree with all the comments above: you have a strong, beautiful body and you should be super proud of it! I'm aspiring to get some lovely quads like you have!!
    As for the question if I'm afraid of getting bulky... nope! I love my muscular arms and body and wouldn't trade it for any thin "model" type body. Strong is beautiful in my world, and more importantly being strong makes me feel confident and happy with myself.

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  18. So glad you addressed this issue! You are an amazing inspiration and I look forward to hearing about your grueling, and strengthening!! workouts every day, and you motivate me to push myself even harder in the weight room. ;-)

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  19. F*** that douche! Your awesome and beautiful..

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  20. I hardly ever leave comments but I HAD TO today!!! I can't believe that guy! I LOVE your blog! It is so motivational I LOVE your workouts and all your HARD work! I too have been a victim of men keeping strong women down. At a standard gym I USED to go to... I had a man tell me to stop doing pull-ups because I would hurt myself! Upon other comments he gave me. That man had the nerve to do it to my face but I think it is so very cowardly when men hide behind a computer to bash women! Ugh totally disgusting! Keep doing what you love and you are AMAZING!

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    1. Oh my goodness, I would LOVE IT if a man told me pull ups would hurt me! HAH, how I would laugh! GOOD FOR YOU for keeping on! I don't work out in a traditional CrossFit facility, so I have a lot of old school powerlifters who look at my like a crazy person when I kip or do push presses for time. We just have to worry about us!

      Delete
  21. I also rarely leave comments but you've been an inspiration to me and I've also written about men being intimidated by muscles on my healthy living site. Some can handle it, some can't. You're beautiful, you're hot, and you're in shape! Love it...keep being an inspiration to us. :)

    Regarding the anonymous comments, unfortunately they are not limited to fitness sites - they are in food blogging and tech blogging too (my other sites), and pretty much all over the world. More than anything, it makes me sad that they just spent their own time trying to criticize (destroy) instead of spending it elsewhere appreciating & creating. It's really sad for them.

    You should feel no compunction about deleting such comments in the future (especially on your blog) - or you can do what The Bloggess does - she actually changes their comments into positive ones and publishes them! :)

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    Replies
    1. I love the idea! Thanks for the encouragement and the comments!

      Delete
  22. I haven't been the recipient of hateful comments, but I have received awful text messages from anonymous numbers before cutting me down and making me feel 2 inches tall. But you know what? You inspire me. You helped me see that it's alright for my body to change because I've been lifting heavy weights. You've showed me that I don't have to be skinny or thin- that it's great to be strong and fit instead. My weight has always been an issue for me, but for the first time in a long time, I'm not obsessing with the number on the scale. Instead, I'm thinking about the number I can squat or clean.

    People have looked at me like I'm crazy when they find out that I lift weights and do Crossfit, but it doesn't bother me like I thought it would. For the most part, the important people in my life support it, and that's what counts. For me, Crossfit isn't just about getting in shape, either. It's about getting my life back. Before I started Crossfit in August, I suffered from awful back pain and couldn't bear to sit for any period of time over 5-10 minutes for the pain it would bring. I had issues with loss of feeling in my right arm, and it disrupted my life at school. I had to give up violin because of the back pain. That was my major, and my life.

    But now? I have my life back. I don't have the back pain unless I'm extremely exhausted. I don't lose the feeling in my arm. I can play the violin again. I can go on long drives and rides again. I can LIVE again!

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    1. You know what, some of those people that look at you crazy will probably be doing CrossFit in the next 6 months. A lady once asked me how I got my legs, if I was a gymnast? I said no, I CrossFit, and I explained what it was, with weights, a mix of gymnastics, etc. She said, Oh, but weights, I don't want to get bulky.

      I totally wrote this girl off. I HATE it when people use the bulky word in defense of their treadmill track stardom. Funny story? This girl is now one of my BEST friends, and CrossFit's next to me in Texas. ;)

      Delete
  23. It's amazing the hateful things people say and do. I'm glad you dedicated a post to moving past it. Unfortunately I think most of the "haters" out there will never 'get it.'

    You clearly had a great time in Texas - hope the happiness stays with you no matter where you go.

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    1. Girl, I hope the happiness stays with me, too ...

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  24. Awesome! Ugh, so sorry you have to deal with that crap! I had the oddest "comment" yesterday though it was from a woman. It went something like this... "so do you workout a lot? Do you get compliments for your legs? Yeah, I use to work with a soccer player and she had big legs too. Do you like them?" ... ah what?! Ah well. Frankly, I only seem to care about how I look when I'm not working out. When I do, I feel great, and that's all that matters! If folks have so little of their own lives that they have time to s*&t talk.. then I feel bad for them!

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    1. Wow, passive aggressive much? I find that my body is also interesting to dress as I become more muscular ... Thank goodness for alterations. I am still a Petite in most women's clothing, but have to have the shoulders let out, because my back is so wide! Wear your legs with pride, I sure do!

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  25. This is the first time I've every commented on this blog, but these type of comments make me crazy. Just remind yourself Courtney, how sad that guy's life must be that he goes out of his way to seek out things that "bother" him to cut other people down, anonymously, no less. You are awesome, I would kill for your quads/abs and thank you for getting me out of my workout rut and into a box so I can "look like a man" too! That is all :)

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    1. I am so happy you got into a box, too! Which one are you at? Thanks for the comment!

      Delete
  26. I love your blog! You're honest and real and inspiring! I think that anyone, man or woman, who says they're not envious of your body is LYING! Haha:)

    I noticed that my comment from a couple blogs back was removed. I certainly wasn't trying to be insensitive or a bitch so for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

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    1. I am so sorry, that was an accident! I was cleaning up a rude post above your comment, but doing so on my iPhone, I ended up deleting a few of them, the page wasn't refreshing properly. That's what I get for not getting on my laptop! =/

      Thanks for the kind words!

      Delete
  27. I am a fairly new reader but LOVE your blog. It is one of the first that I check in the morning. This guy is RIDICULOUS. I think you are absolutely gorgeous and your body is what I aspire to achieve. I have a long road and a lot of toning to do but I WANT to bulk up more.

    That article is also outstanding and something I am going to keep going back to read periodically. What a great post. Keep squatting heavy :)

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    Replies
    1. Well hello and welcome! Thanks for the sweet comments. You and I think alike: bring on the BULK! ;)

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  28. Deja vu! I actually read the Lift Big Eat Big article a couple of days ago, just didn't realize the pencil d!^k was a commenter on your Instagram page! (I don't do Instagram, though I follow your blog.)

    Like most things in life, what you or I or anyone else does or doesn't do is nobody else's d@mn business. It would be awesome if they could just realize *their* opinions ALSO aren't anyone else's business and keep them to themselves.

    Glad it doesn't get you down! You inspire me and, obviously, so many other people. Keep doing what you love and keep shining!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words! Good to know there's a fellow LBEB fan out there!

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  29. You are amazing! Don't let haters get you down! I really love your blog and your always positive energy -- even today! Being fit, strong, healthy makes you beautiful!

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  30. My girlfriends & I always say "...people are terrible..." as there are so many negative haters in this world. You are awesome, your strength inside & out is motivating & don't let this tool get you down. It's easier said than done I know. So many people support you & that helps. Just know you could probably kick his a$$ 8 ways to Sunday if need be ;)

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    1. Haha, 8 ways to Sunday! LOVE! (:

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  31. Wow, after seeing your new photos from your hometown trip, how you have like the perfect body. Now there are many versions of perfect, but for someone who was told she was too skinny, and my legs are like twigs, it's also discouraging when you feel the pressure of the jackasses who also put you down when you try to gain muscle and get healthy. I'd kill for your legs/booty, and everything else. Instead I'll just keep on keepin' on at the gym. Also, I think that that "unfeminine muscle face" thing he mentioned can happen, but your face is gorgeous.

    It's so ridiculous how social media allows people bash others from the safety of their own iPhones or computer screens. But, part of what inspired me to pursue my fitness goals, get ceritifed and blog about all that, is the support that exists among the fitness blogger community. You'll never please everyone, but it'd help if some people followed the "if you can't say anything nice" rule.

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    1. I know it may be discouraging, but KEEP at it! I find that naturally thin women put on muscle BEAUTIFULLY! I have the opposite issue, keeping weight off to show off my muscle. ;) I have to agree with the power behind the blogging community as well, a great group, for the most part, Keyboard commando's not included. ;)

      Delete
  32. Wow...shocked at that man's comment on your photo! Like everyone else, I think you have a beautifully strong, fit and feminine body - you must not need that affirmation anymore but so many (myself included!) aspire to look like and train like you! Love that the guy from Lift Big Eat Big backed you up - and so true too about some men wanting to put down women. Either I don't post enough controversial thoughts or issues on my blog to have received hateful comments yet...? It might happen, but I'm a pretty non-controversial person IRL too (not timid or passive, but not loud or getting all my thoughts out there either).

    At any rate, it's so easy to be anonymous behind the scenes...and I'm coming out of lurking to say I read, am inspired by you, and think you're beautiful - in every sense of the word! Keep being who you are and training hard! :D

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    1. Thank you for the comment, it means a lot :)

      Delete
  33. Gotta love those "keyboard commandos" as my hubs would call 'em. (They think) they're pretty badass when they're behind a keyboard. But when in person, they won't say a word. You have an amazing body and seem to have a great outlook on life. So, go shave your 5 o'clock shadow (joking!), put on your big girl panties and go do what you do best...be fabulous 'cuz haters are gonna hate, no matter what. By the way, cute outfit!

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    1. HAH! Keyboard commandos! I love it!

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  34. I sometimes think people are more of a bully on the internet than they would be in real life. I think you are right. People like that are just not happy with themselves. So many woman say they don't want to get bulky. I tell woman all the time that they cannot bulk up like a man. Why? Because they do not produce testosterone in their bodies like men. Woman can be strong and have muscle, but they will not get too bulky the all natural way. I love when I see woman hitting the weights at the gym or doing dead hang pull ups with no assistance. It's empowering and motivating. It's not all about getting skinny because skinny doesn't mean healthy necessarily. Keep doing what you are doing Courtney!

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    1. I love seeing a woman do strict pull ups, straight gangster!

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  35. What an awful comment! I've been a lurker of your blog for awhile (don't ate me!) and I am so inspired by you! Way to brush off the hater, because there are so many of us who see you as an amazing and inspiring woman!

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    1. Thanks for the love Mollie. When you get a chance, head over to Lift Big Eat Big and read all of his articles. He's a pretty awesome dude!

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  36. Muscles rule! Are you kidding me! You look amazing! Not only are you the "super fit gym girl", but you are also the "super cute feminine girl" Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration.

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    1. Muscles rule, boys drool! :P Thanks!

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  37. Ugh, hate that! I love lifting and I hate when people talk about women "getting bulky" - I love my big muscular thighs :) Keep up the good work :D

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  38. This post makes me happy. Keep squatting :)

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  39. I love your blog and I love the way you look. You inspire me daily, and muscles are beautiful! Keep at it chica! Love a fellow Texas lady :)

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  40. love this post! thankfully i havent had any hateful comments on mine. so sorry you have. your so beautiful and have taught me more than anything that i need to lift, that i am beautiful with muscle. strong is sexy :)karma will bite haters in the ass!

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  41. Awww!! My comment is up there! Im so glad it helped keep your head up. Its so hard to find strong athletic women to look up to. Even so many of my friends have no interest in making their health a priority, nonetheless working towards becoming strong and athletic. Just remember your blog is for us followers that are motivated by your accomplishments and share the same interests as you. Keep on keep on!! ps your dog is ADORABLE!!

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  42. I love your blog, and I think you look great! You inspired me to push myself much harder athletically, eat better, and work on me. I was so inspired by your physique that I started CrossFit, and I love it. Keep on keepin' on, Courtney!

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  43. Girl -

    Thanks for posting this to encourage other women to keep lifting and ignore the haters!

    I've only ever gotten positive comments on my lifting. I used to run, and my husband has always said sweet things to me about how I look, no matter what my fitness level was (or WASN'T), but now he loves my CrossFit body more than anything!

    Good guys like strong women. Just sayin.

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  44. Girl, you are absolutely lovely in every way. Thank you for being a total fitness inspiration!

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  45. I freakin' love how gracefully you've handled this douchenugget and his crappy comments! And obviously, like you said, you have SO many people in your corner, and where is this guy hating on you? Oh, wait, he's too much of a coward to even show his entire face in his pic or share his real name. So yeah...he's just mad that there are loads of women out there with bigger balls than his. LOL Keep on rockin' it, girl!

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  46. How sad that people have to waste time for such petty agendas. You've a graceful soul to have handled it the way you did. You're quite the lady!

    I'm really glad you got to go back to Texas and get a bit of renewed motivation being with your old CF buddies there! I can definitely relate with having to relocate and not being able to find the same kind of support you had before. I'm also visiting home and I'm finding so much strength and drive from being with people who encourage and push me! I hope it keeps you going in Atlanta! You, your blog, your progress... it's all really inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing it with all of us! Keep it up, Courtney!

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  47. You are gorgeous. What a jerk! Thankfully there are strong confident men out there who love women with muscles!

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  48. I have to pipe up and tell you that I read your blog when I'm needing some inspiration to get moving! I read in one of your posts that we are the same height and about the same weight. But my composition is waaay different. For now!! You are my reminder that the # on the scale isn't what I want to change. You remind me that if I work hard and eat real my current weight can be my "goal weight" and that "goal weight" should only apply to lifting anyway.

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  49. That person is just jealous and not happy with themselves! You have a beautiful and strong body and that is something to be proud of and its our duty as individuals to take care of our bodies! Love your legs!!

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  50. Without overstepping boundaries with a married woman, let me just say, keep doing what your doing...its working. And I'll leave it at that...lol. One of these days you'll inspire me enough to keep up with my blog, that is continuously neglected.

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  51. I have been the recipient of a couple hateful comments on my blog and I didn't respond as much as you did. I feel the same way, don't give them satisfaction or power b/c they're not worth it. It's sad people have to try to tear others down but you're dead on - they're intimidated, jealous, or both. I have had to defend myself about weight lifting, but I just try to educate and teach people that women DON'T get bulky - we get sexy ;-) Keep doing your thang girl!

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