Friday, February 10, 2012

Things Change, People Change

Step Mill: 30 minutes
Kettlebell workout (Snatches, swings, cleans, high pulls, lunges, squats)
50 tire flips with jump thru (6:34)

Total workout time: 63 minutes, 555 calories
Max HR: 186 BPM, 93%,
Avg HR: 160 BPM, 80%

I couldn't hit my usual spin class that I love on Fort Hood (thanks to my super fun and funky back issue), so I went to Gold's. And I had an awesome workout. Thank goodness, because I needed it. I am actually excited to get back to the gym. It's that excitement for tomorrow that I've been missing so much. 

I'm kind of in a workout funk, and finding a new routine the last couple of months has been my focus, but it's been harder for me to get back into a rhythm. The passion, the fire, I'm not sure where it's gone, but, my fire gives off a 10th of the light that it used to.

I had a great summer over 2010 and well, I just have to realize that it's come and gone. 

Things change. People leave. New people arrive. Crowds shift. It's military life. Nothing is permanent. Right when you get used to something - it changes its face. We don't ask for it. We don't want it. And on the flip side, we're forced to deal with people we, well, don't like. New people come into our circles that we dream of choking out with a barbell ... and make us miss the fantastic people we had, and make us realize the giant, gaping hole that was left in their absence. 

The reality that I'm also leaving in less than 6 weeks for BCT is also starting to hit me. I'm not going to say that I'm not enjoying every moment that I have left, because I am, but I'm also distancing myself. More than I should be. And I know that I should be embracing friends and family now more than ever, but I already feel the walls coming up, the "strength" barrier slowly building, the stoic face I've been practicing is beginning to harden. If I put my walls and guard up now, it will mean fewer tears on my last night here, less pain, less longing, and make the transition into solider life much, much easier. 

I am so different than the girl I was a year and a half ago when I moved here and was celebrating the first tender weeks of marriage. I remember falling asleep at the end of the day so blissfully happy that my cheeks ached. For the first time in my life, I didn't have to be strong. I let my guard down.

Nothing is permanent. Things change. People change. 

But enough of the heavy. Here's the Optimist Creed.

I feel better every time I repeat that to myself. 
"To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind." 

Be strong and ... eat a lot of chocolate. ;)


  1. Thanks for this great and motivating post to stay strong and positive. You will be miss by a lot of people but you have to do what you makes you happy. i sometimes feel i wish i could do something like what you are doing. anyway, have a good sunday..

  2. I can definitely get behind the eat-a-lot-of-chocolate movement :)

    You have a great attitude. Sounds tough, all the changes etc but you're right- with the right mindset- everything is better. :)